Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Stopping the Cycle

I am really bad at standing up for myself. I continue to find myself stuck in various situations where others take advantage of my caring nature. This is a HUGE problem. How do I stop the cycle?

Saying "no" to different activities or suggestions from others is almost impossible for me. Even when the best thing I could do in that moment would be anything but what is being suggested. One of the major reasons this is so hard for is because I never want to hurt people's feeling and in order not to hurt others I continue to overstretch myself and lose track of who I am. I find myself confused because I try to be who people need me to be. Can anyone relate? Have you ever experienced the social pressure to be who you think people want you to be and in the process forget who you are?

I'm getting so tired of being the version of myself that some pressure me to be. I've been learning that even people who have good intentions can sometimes forget that you were not created to make their lives easier by being at their beckoning call any moment of the day. And I also recognize there are some people who consciously use others for their own purposes. Both types are dangerous and I continue to find myself as a victim to both.

I am who I am. I will no longer be pushed around and manipulated. I am finally saying, "enough is enough."

Here's some conclusions I've come to so far:
1. I would LOVE to help others when I can but I cannot be expected to continually give of myself when it is no longer a helping them. Sometimes we think we are "helping" someone and instead we are just allowing them to remain in a place they need to get out of on their own.
2. By not being honest about what is best for me I am not loving others the way I should be. God says, "love your neighbor as yourself." I have to first love myself enough to take care of myself before I can love others by taking care of them.
3. Some friendships are one sided. There will always be people who want you to be their support, cheerleader, or listener and never do the same for you. It's the one's that will always be there for you that we should all seek to find.
4. In order to make a change in the way you are treated, you must show people how you expect to be treated.
5. Confrontation is uncomfortable but not saying anything is more painful then an awkward conversion.

This season of my life is full of lessons that I need to learn in order to make a better future for myself. They are not easy to learn and I am working hard to build the foundations of the person I hope to be one day. It is through God's goodness to be in the past that I can confidently place all these struggles in his hands, knowing that He will not disappoint.

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