The past two weeks there has been a concept that has shown up in my life at least 6 times. I've been going crazy trying to figure out why God keeps putting it in front of me. And now, I'm done trying to pass it off as simply "coincidence."
There are a few different places in the Bible where it is found but here is the one that I read last night:
"...put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4: 22-24)
This idea of letting go of the way I used to live and deciding to live as the new person God has made me is not an easy thing for me to do. I am very much stuck in the past. And it's extremely hard for me to change that.
Instead of healing, I constantly find myself allowing my past to bring shame and guilt into my present which is hindering me from creating a better future.
I love this quote from Rick Warren: "We are products of our past, not prisoners of it."
I definitely make myself a prisoner of my past instead of accepting that I am who I am today because of everything in my past. I tend to view myself in light of the girl I used to be...angry, hurt, mean, and out-of-control. Instead of seeing myself as the woman I'm becoming. I don't exactly know who that is yet but I trust that I will continue to learn more about who she is through God revealing it to me.
Another passage of Scripture that has this same idea is this:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)
God has made me an entirely new creation! The old me has died...but do I live like I believe that? I can honestly say that I do not. Hmm...I am quite a mess. But I know that God isn't finished working on me yet and I will continue to wait for Him to show me where to go next.
There have been a lot of thoughts and ideas that I've been trying to process this semester and at times I have no idea what I'm thinking or feeling but I am confident that I am not alone. God is with me and He is teaching me a lot and I'm just trusting him in this time of growth.