Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I'm going to miss you.

As I spend time with those who have been apart of my lifestory so far, I get an overwhelming mixture of feelings; mostly of sadness and joy. I'm sad to say goodbye and go it alone, not having the people I care most about there along for the ride. I'm also sad to have to tell those who know me best all about this new life I'm going to be living, instead of them being a part of it. But even in the sadness, there is this joy that comes to my heart. A joy that comes stems from all the memories and times that we've shared. These people, my loved ones, have helped in times of sorrow, have laughed with me in times of happiness, and have been here to encourage me to be a woman of character. I am truly blessed to have all of you.

I want to specifically thank all the families that I have been able to be a part of in my life. Firstly, my own family. Thank you for always supporting me in everything that I have been involved in. Even if you didn't always understand why God was so important to me, I know that you loved and accepted me for exactly who I am. And I will always thank God for each and everyone of you.

 I also want to thank the Ackley Family. Lois and Doug, thank you for all that you have taught me! Lois, you have shown me what it means to have a servants heart. You do so much for everyone else and your willingness to make delicious meals, take Julia and I to amazing concerts, and to open up your house for various events, have meant so much to me. You will always be a person I know I can come to for anything. Doug, you have this way of making everything a lesson to be learned. I really appreciate how you make me think and defend what I believe, this is a skill that will be very helpful when I'm on my own.

The Riegert Family, oh how lucky I am to have been "adopted" into the family! :) Faye, each day you remind me what it means to be thankful for what God has given us. I love that you have this ability to make even the smallest thing into something special. You teach me that love can go much farther then material things and is much more important. Pat, you show me what it means to have a passion for gifts given by God.  Hearing you pray with the boys before they go to sleep makes me so happy and shows me the importance of a father being the spiritual leader. (and your hugs are the best!)

Hovestol Family, thank you ALL for the simple things. I will always cherish the times where we would just sit around talking and enjoying each others company. Dan, you are such an amazing father and you're love for your kids is such a gift to me. You show me what it looks like to be consistent in everything. Gwenn, thank you for always being here to listen, to give your wisdom, and for always keeping me in your prayers. I love that you are honest and don't always have all the answers. It's such an encouragement to see how humble and real you are with me.

And how could I forget my family out on the farm? :P Norman Family, I have truly enjoyed every moment I've spent in your home. You show me the importance of working hard and appreciating everything. Julie, you are always thinking of your daughters and it's inspiring to see how you desire to help with anything you can. Steve, I love how you go out of your way to help and serve others. I feel so lucky to get to see the way you provide for your family and you are a great example of what a gentleman should be! :)

Johnson Family, you guys have a way of making anyone who comes into your home feel as though they are apart of the family. Jerry, you have been such a spiritual encouragement to me and I am thankful for the ways in which you have taught me as my youth pastor, my friend, and one of my father figures. Your advice will also be treasured and I know that I can always come to you for guidance. Debbie, thank you for all the deep questions you've challenged me with over the years. You're way of directing your daughters with a calm, wise, and loving voice has been incredible to watch and I hope to learn how to do this when I become a mother. 

WOW! Am I blessed or what!?!?!?! Six families who have all been and will be important sources of wisdom, love, and encouragement to me. This is what makes me step back and realize that no matter where I go in life or what I do, I will always have a home. My home is not a building or a location, but rather it is in the hearts of thoses I will always call family.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Loans, Loans, and MORE Loans!

I knew college would be expensive and a financial burden but MAN I hate loans! Just the idea of going into debt makes me want to panic and run away so you can imagine that the process of finding, applying, and accepting loans makes me FREAK OUT!

Choosing a private christian college comes at quite a high cost...literally. I'm really working hard to try and save enough money to buy books, things for my dorm, and for all the other costs of living on my own but even that seems to be a tough thing to do right now. Mention the cost of tuition, a meal plan, and fees and I might just have an anxiety attack! FAFSA has been good to me but still isn't enough to cover everything...so I'm still searching for loans and hoping that God will provide.

I'm lucky to have Dan Hovestol in my life, being the financial aid advisor for the wonderful Oak Hills Christian College and my friend, he has graciously been helping me with all the stressful tasks involved with getting money to pay for college. It's so nice to have someone who knows all the steps I need to take, he makes it seem so easy...

It seems so easy to say we trust God with mouths but I'm starting to see its when we are going through tough times that we really put our words to the test. In this time of chaos, I need to remember that God is still God and he led me to Crown College. His plans are better than mine and sometimes life isn't going to be comfortable or easy for me. But if he got me this far, I know he will continue to lead me, providing for my needs and directing me to where he is calling me to. :)

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortess, my God, in whom I trust." ~Psalm 91:2

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Time Flys?

Only about a month away? That's crazy! At times it seems like graduation was forever ago yet to realize college is just around the corner is simply incredible. My day-to-day life seems to drag on as I'm consumed with work at the Bemidji Theatre, packing up my room, and helping my family begin to let me go. But while each day seems to take an eternity, I look back on each week thinking "WOW! That went fast!" I'm anxious to get everything underway, to begin this new season of my life but appreciating the mundane responsibilities of my life right now does not come easily. I'm really learning what it means to trust God and wait on him.

For all of you adults reading this get ready to smile at a young person finally admitting you know more then them :)  I have also learned that it is true that the friends you make in high school won't be the most important people in your life. There are so many friendships that have already fallen apart and some that are just beginning to. While this is a bittersweet thing to attempt, it is also something that is a part of life. I am so thankful for the time I've had these people in my life and I know I will always cherish them but soon they will not know me anymore. Yes, they will know my name and face but soon my heart, personality, and overall being will be changed. I hope that I will be changing for the better and I humbly admit that I'm scared to see who I will be after four years of college but I'm also excited for the gift of a fresh slate.

Crown College is a new place where no one knows my story or who I am (or rather who I used to be). I can be whoever I want to be and while some who go off to college, choose to change themselves into who they think they want to be, I choose to go to college uncertain of who Kera Kilde is and excited to discover who she will become. :)

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." -Romans 8:18

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Preparing To Say Goodbye...

I know it's only July 10th but I am already getting ready to leave comfortable little Bemidji MN and head off to Crown College.

 There are so many different emotions going on in my heart. It's hard to leave my family behind and I know I will miss them all SO much! But at the same time I'm excited to see if I can do it on my own. I'm looking forward to realizing just how lucky I am to have a mother who does my laundry, helps me find things that I misplace (which is...EVERYTHING!), and is always there to comfort me when the reality of just how unfair life can be falls upon me. Not only will I miss my wonderful mother, I don't know how I'm going to cope with not having my little brother there for me. Manny has always been the closest person to me. As he once told, "we just get each other. I don't have to explain myself with you. Even when I say something with all the wrong words, you understand." (paraphasing of course :P)

I will miss every single person that has spent time listening, praying, and loving me. All the people at the Edge who have been a HUGE part of my life for the past 7 years, all the friends I've made at BHS and Upward Bound, and all the others who don't fit into those categories. Each of you have changed me and shaped me into this person that I am today. God has been good to me! I love all of you and want you to know just how thankful I am for you. As this new chapter in my life begins, I will not forget all the people who were there with me ever step of the way. :)

So as I pack, plan, and prepare for August I am in awe of the support system I have had and thank God for the blessing you all have been to my life.

 For now, I will wait in this inbetween time, trying to enjoy my hometown and all the things that I still get to experience here while preparing to say goodbye to what I have known and step out into the unknown that is ahead.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 3:17